“You can’t help anyone when you’re running on empty.”
“You have to make time for yourself.”
“You can’t fill from an empty cup.”
How many times have you heard one of these or at least a variation?
When you become a mom, obviously, your life changes in so many ways. At one time in my life- my biggest dilemma was which handbag or stilettos. What a silly, foolish girl I was. Now it’s juggling a full time job, household, 2 young kids, and a husband who sometimes is kind of like a third kid. Big difference since my handbag is now a diaperbag and I favor shoes that have a yoga mat sole because I’m constantly on the go. And when I say go- it’s non stop from am to pm. So how on earth do i find time to take care of me when I’m so busy caring for others?
I used to push myself aside, always putting myself last because my family took the front seat, and I found myself holding onto the bumper, being dragged along. I would convince myself “I can’t go workout because i have xyz to do. I can’t run to Target alone because the baby might cry. I can’t meet a friend for coffee because my husband wants to go to the gym.” So many can’ts and so little cans. But one day as I was being dragged along, it was as if I hit a pothole. I was in desperate need time for myself, but I felt so selfish admitting that because I didn’t want to abandon my babies. But guess what, self care isn’t selfish- it’s self love. Repeat that. SELF CARE ISN’T SELFISH- IT’S SELF LOVE. And i hadn’t been loving myself until I realize I was drowning in a quick sand pothole filled with self-can’ts.
As I gasped for air, I made a promise to myself-I chose to add myself to my list of priorities and vowed to love myself again. Now, I wake up a little earlier than my family to carve out 10 minutes to meditate every morning. I go to yoga 3-4 times a week. I make time for myself because it makes me a better mom and wife. I can’t run on empty fumes and neither should you. Whether it’s a few minutes to read or grab a latte- make the time for yourself. You deserve it. You need it. You’re worth it. That little guilt monster in your head, send it packing. Moms are people- human beings with needs. We can’t take care of everyone else all the time without time to refuel. I often think about the girl with the matching handbags and shoes with a certain level of fondness. I might not be the same girl, but I recognize the importance of self care- even if it’s a small piece of my crazy day.